Ask by Jeff Wetzler Summary
Overview of Ask
"Ask" revolutionizes leadership through the power of curiosity. Endorsed by Seth Godin and Jim Collins, this 304-page guide transforms relationships by unlocking what remains unsaid. What if asking better questions - not having all the answers - is your untapped superpower?
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Key takeaways
The Question We're All Afraid to Ask
When Jeff Wetzler was chief learning officer at Teach For America, he received an urgent phone call that shattered his confidence. A major summer institute was on the brink of collapse-just months before launch. The shocking part? His team had known about these critical problems for weeks. Despite regular check-ins and what he thought was open communication, no one had said a word. This wasn't about incompetence or malice. It was about something far more universal: the vast chasm between what people know and what they're willing to share. Here's the uncomfortable truth-we're terrible at reading minds. Research shows we're barely more accurate than a coin flip when guessing what others think or feel. Yet we walk through life convinced we understand our colleagues, partners, and children. This false confidence costs us dearly. The solution sounds absurdly simple: just ask. But as Wetzler discovered, asking is a skill most of us never learned. We've been taught to speak persuasively, to present confidently, to argue convincingly-but rarely to draw out the wisdom hiding in the minds around us. Picture a page divided down the middle. On the right side, write what was actually said in your last difficult conversation. On the left, write everything you thought but didn't say. This exercise, developed by Harvard professor Chris Argyris, reveals a startling pattern-our most valuable insights often remain trapped in this "left-hand column," never making it into actual dialogue. Four types of critical information typically stay hidden: the struggles we desperately need help with, our true thoughts about important issues, honest feedback that could help others improve, and our wildest ideas that might sound crazy. When this information remains locked away, we make worse decisions, miss creative breakthroughs, and watch relationships slowly deteriorate. The statistics are sobering. Over 85% of managers have kept silent about important concerns with their bosses. Nearly half of employees don't feel comfortable speaking up about issues that worry them. And this isn't just a workplace problem-between 60-80% of Americans withhold relevant health information from their doctors, fearing judgment. Even in our most intimate relationships, we hold back what matters most. The cost is invisible but enormous-trapped wisdom that could transform our decisions, teams, and communities if only we knew how to unlock it.
Why Silence Feels Safer and How to Choose Curiosity
Making It Safe Enough to Speak
The Lost Art of Powerful Questions
Listening With Your Whole Self
Closing the Loop: From Listening to Learning
The Ripple Effect: Asking as a Way of Life
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"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
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