Created for Connection by Kenneth Sanderfer & Sue Johnson Summary
Overview of Created for Connection
Discover the science-backed guide merging Christian faith with attachment therapy, hailed by relationship expert Dr. John Gottman as the work of "the best couple therapist in the world." What if emotional safety - not communication skills - is what your marriage truly needs?
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Why Some Marriages Thrive While Others Barely Survive
A wife stands at her kitchen counter, tears streaming down her face as her husband scrolls through his phone, oblivious. She's not crying about the dishes or the bills or even his late nights at work. She's crying because she feels invisible. Across town, a husband lies awake, his wife's back turned toward him, the space between them on the bed feeling like an ocean. He wants to reach out but doesn't know how. These scenes play out in millions of homes every night - even among couples who once couldn't keep their hands off each other, even in marriages rooted in faith and commitment. Here's the startling truth: nearly half of all marriages fail, and Christian couples divorce at virtually the same rate as everyone else. Despite countless marriage seminars, relationship books, and well-meaning advice, something fundamental is being missed. The answer isn't about better communication techniques or learning to fight fair. It's about something far more primal: our desperate, hardwired need for secure emotional connection. When that connection breaks, everything else crumbles. When it's strong, couples don't just survive - they flourish. We've all heard love described as a beautiful mystery, an inexplicable force that brings two souls together. But attachment science reveals something more profound: love isn't just an emotion or a choice - it's our most powerful survival mechanism, coded into our biology as deeply as hunger or thirst. British psychiatrist John Bowlby revolutionized our understanding by observing children separated from their parents, discovering that their distress wasn't weakness but a survival response. His work eventually transformed child-rearing worldwide, but here's what changes everything for adult relationships: this attachment need doesn't disappear when we grow up. Throughout our entire lives, we're wired to seek close connection with someone who becomes our safe haven - a person whose presence calms our nervous system and whose absence triggers primal panic.
The Science Behind Our Deepest Needs and Destructive Patterns
Breaking Free by Recognizing Your Patterns and Raw Spots
The Three Questions and the Moment That Changes Everything
Healing Wounds, Reclaiming Passion, and Maintaining Connection
The Divine Design: Connection as Our Deepest Purpose
The Promise: Becoming Fully Human Through Love
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"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
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