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My Grandmother's Hands by Resmaa Menakem Summary

My Grandmother's Hands
Resmaa Menakem
4.39 (11277 Reviews)
Psychology
Society
Health
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Overview of My Grandmother's Hands

Resmaa Menakem's national bestseller explores how racism lodges in our bodies, not just our minds. Endorsed by "White Fragility" author Robin DiAngelo as "changing the direction of racial justice," it sparked university programs teaching white people to recognize and heal racialized trauma.

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Key takeaways

1

The Trauma We Carry in Our Bodies

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When Tamir Rice was shot by police, Resmaa Menakem and his wife watched the news in stunned silence. As parents of a young Black son, they felt a visceral terror that transcended intellectual understanding. Their bodies knew something their minds couldn't fully process. This powerful insight forms the foundation of "My Grandmother's Hands" - racial trauma lives not in our thoughts but in our physical selves, passed down through generations. White supremacy isn't primarily about conscious beliefs. It's embedded in our nervous systems, muscles, and reflexes. When we experience trauma, our bodies enter survival mode through the activation of the vagus nerve (what Menakem calls our "soul nerve"), triggering fight, flight, or freeze responses. These reactions become deeply conditioned, creating automatic physiological responses that bypass conscious thought entirely. Consider your own bodily responses in different racial contexts: Do your shoulders tense in certain neighborhoods? Does your breathing become shallow around certain groups? These physical responses aren't random - they're your body processing generations of historical and cultural information that your conscious mind might not recognize. This embodied understanding explains why so many well-intentioned efforts at racial reconciliation fail. We're addressing the wrong system - trying to convince the thinking brain while ignoring the body's deeply embedded patterns and survival responses.

2

Three Bodies, Three Traumas

3

The Historical Roots of Bodily Supremacy

4

The Myth of Black Invulnerability and White Fragility

5

Clean Pain vs. Dirty Pain: The Path Forward

6

Healing Strategies for Different Groups

7

Creating a New Culture of Healing

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@djmikemoore
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"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum
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108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
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"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

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