Stop Self-Sabotage by Dr. Judy Ho Summary
Overview of Stop Self-Sabotage
Dr. Judy Ho's science-backed guide reveals why we self-sabotage and delivers a practical L.I.F.E. framework to break free. What if the blueprint for unleashing your willpower was hiding in your own psychology? Discover why therapists recommend this alongside "Unf*ck Yourself" for lasting transformation.
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Key takeaways
Why You Keep Getting in Your Own Way
You've done it again. Sabotaged a relationship just as it was getting serious. Procrastinated on that project until the deadline became impossible. Started a fitness routine with genuine enthusiasm only to abandon it three weeks later. Sound familiar? Here's the uncomfortable truth: your brain isn't broken, and you're not fundamentally flawed. You're experiencing something far more universal and fixable-self-sabotage, the peculiar human tendency to undermine our own success even when we consciously want to thrive. Self-sabotage happens when our drive to avoid threats overpowers our desire to attain rewards. Think of Beth, a brilliant attorney who excels everywhere except managing her weight. Despite her discipline in court, she repeatedly fails at this one goal. Why? Because our brains operate on two competing systems: one seeking dopamine-fueled rewards, the other scanning relentlessly for danger. This creates what psychologists call "approach-avoidance conflict"-we start goals with excitement, but as challenges emerge, our threat-detection system screams louder than our reward-seeking impulses. The real culprits are four hidden forces called L.I.F.E. elements: Low or Shaky Self-Concept, Internalized Beliefs, Fear of Change, and Excessive Need for Control. These operate like background programs on your mental computer, driving behaviors without your conscious awareness. A shaky self-concept makes you doubt abilities in specific areas despite success elsewhere. Internalized beliefs-absorbed from caregivers during childhood-create negative self-talk convincing you effort is pointless. Fear of change makes familiar discomfort feel safer than unknown possibilities. And excessive need for control leads you to reject valuable opportunities requiring you to surrender predictability.
The Six Voices of Self-Defeat
Rewriting Your Mental Script
The ABC's of Behavioral Patterns
Building Your Success Architecture
Your Blueprint for Lasting Change
The Power You've Always Had
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"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
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