Big Dating Energy book cover

Big Dating Energy by Jeff Guenther Summary

Big Dating Energy
Jeff Guenther
4.22 (434 Reviews)
Self-growth
Psychology
Mindfulness
Overview
Key Takeaways
Author
FAQs

Overview of Big Dating Energy

Licensed therapist Jeff Guenther's "Big Dating Energy" reveals how authenticity transforms modern relationships in our post-COVID, super-online world. With 4 million social followers, "Therapy Jeff" challenges unrealistic expectations while offering practical wisdom. Could self-awareness be the missing ingredient in your dating life?

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Key takeaways

1

Why Your Love Life Feels Like a Full-Time Job (And How to Quit)

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Here's something nobody tells you: dating isn't supposed to be this hard. Yet here we are, collectively exhausted by the endless swiping, the performative texting, the first-date small talk that somehow feels both scripted and terrifying. We've turned romance into a second shift, complete with strategic planning, personal branding, and quarterly performance reviews. But what if the problem isn't you-it's that we've been asking the wrong question entirely? Instead of "How do I make someone like me?" we should be asking "What do I actually want?" This shift-from proving your worth to discovering your needs-is the foundation of what therapist Jeff Guenther calls Big Dating Energy. It's not about becoming more dateable. It's about becoming more you. Before you can show up authentically on dates, you need to understand why you keep choosing the same wrong person in different packaging. The answer usually traces back to your childhood dining table. Your parents weren't just teaching you table manners-they were programming your entire relational operating system. Every time they fought and made up (or fought and didn't), every time they noticed you were upset (or didn't), they were writing code that still runs in your adult relationships. Here's a perspective that might sting but also liberate: your parents did the best they could, but you deserved better. This isn't about blame-it's about freedom. When your mom gave you the silent treatment or your dad exploded over small things, they weren't trying to mess you up. They were just repeating patterns from their own childhoods. But those patterns became your blueprint for what "normal" looks like in relationships.

2

The Forces Shaping How You Love

3

Getting Clear on What You Actually Need

4

Navigating the Dating App Hellscape and Real-World Connections

5

First Dates and the Journey from Casual to Committed

6

Making It Official and Fighting Fair

7

When Love Isn't Enough and What Comes After

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"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

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@Raaaaaachelw
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@Matt, YC alum
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108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
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254
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"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore
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