Labor of Love by Moira Weigel Summary
Overview of Labor of Love
Discover how dating evolved from a criminal activity to a billion-dollar industry. Weigel's provocative exploration reveals why "Charity Girls" trading sex for gifts sparked moral panic, and how economic forces shape our most intimate connections. Ever wonder why finding love feels like work?
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Key takeaways
When Romance Became a Second Job
Think about the last time you got ready for a date. The outfit changes, the carefully angled photos, the witty text messages crafted and deleted a dozen times before sending. Now imagine someone told you this was work-unpaid labor you've been performing your entire dating life. Sounds absurd, right? Yet this is precisely what dating has become: an exhausting performance where we've learned to focus entirely on being desirable while forgetting to ask what we actually desire. Dating emerged around 1900 as women left their homes to work in cities, mingling freely with men for the first time in history. What began as a social revolution quickly became entangled with commerce. Unlike traditional courtship that happened in parlors under parental supervision, dating required money-for dance halls, movie tickets, dinners. For the first time, you had to purchase things just to spend time with potential partners. This remains true today, even with "free" dating apps. We pay with our time creating profiles and our attention, which app owners sell to advertisers. Getting users into lasting relationships that might remove them from the platform is secondary to harnessing desires for profit. Our language around dating betrays its transactional nature. We debate whether someone "owes" physical intimacy after an expensive dinner. We call people "damaged goods" and talk about "shopping around" for partners, revealing an uncomfortable truth about how commerce has colonized our most intimate moments.
The Marketplace of Desire and the Birth of Personality
The Political Power of Going Out
The Paradox of Sexual Freedom
Love in the Age of Algorithms and Assortative Mating
The Impossible Standards We Can't Meet
Toward a Third Sexual Revolution
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"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
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From Columbia University alumni built in San Francisco
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
"Instead of endless scrolling, I just hit play on BeFreed. It saves me so much time."
"I never knew where to start with nonfiction—BeFreed’s book lists turned into podcasts gave me a clear path."
"Perfect balance between learning and entertainment. Finished ‘Thinking, Fast and Slow’ on my commute this week."
"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."
"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."
"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."
"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."
"BeFreed turned my commute into learning time. 20-min podcasts are perfect for finishing books I never had time for."
"BeFreed replaced my podcast queue. Imagine Spotify for books — that’s it. 🙌"
"It is great for me to learn something from the book without reading it."
"The themed book list podcasts help me connect ideas across authors—like a guided audio journey."
"Makes me feel smarter every time before going to work"
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