
ABC correspondent Matt Gutman's raw journey from fearless reporter to anxiety warrior reveals the hidden science of panic attacks. Endorsed by Dr. Nicole LePera, this "brave, reassuring" guide explores CBT and psychedelics, offering hope to millions silently suffering. What if courage means admitting vulnerability?
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You're standing in front of millions, words on the teleprompter swimming before your eyes. Your heart hammers against your ribs. Your throat constricts. The camera's red light burns into you like an accusation. This isn't stage fright - this is something far more primal, more terrifying. Your body has decided, without consulting you, that you're about to die. For two decades, this was my reality. War zones? Fine. Natural disasters? No problem. A calm Tuesday morning broadcast? Absolute terror. The contradiction defined my existence: a correspondent who thrived in genuine danger but crumbled during routine live shots. What viewers interpreted as "energy" was actually panic - my nervous system staging a full-scale mutiny in real time. About a quarter of Americans experience panic attacks, though experts suspect the true number approaches half. We're living through a hidden epidemic, one that thrives in silence and shame. Twelve years old, numb on Xanax at my father's funeral, I repeated the same hollow phrase to mourners: "At least he lived a full life." He was forty-two when his plane went down. Thirty years later, reaching that same age felt like crossing an invisible finish line - or starting a race I never wanted to run. My journey through this landscape reveals something unexpected: panic isn't the enemy we think it is. It's a smoke detector gone haywire, an ancient alarm system struggling to make sense of modern life.
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