
In "We Over Me," Khadeen and Devale Ellis reveal the counterintuitive secret to relationship success: putting "we" before "me." Spanning their 20-year journey, this guide breaks traditional norms while teaching open communication. Even single readers find its wisdom universally applicable - could selflessness be your relationship's missing piece?
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What if the secret to a lasting relationship isn't finding your soulmate, but choosing them-every single day? Devale and Khadeen Ellis didn't stumble into a perfect marriage. They built one, brick by messy brick, through NFL cuts, financial crises, four sons, and moments when divorce felt easier than staying. Their two-decade journey from Brooklyn teenagers to cultural icons happened because they learned something most couples never do: love isn't just a feeling you fall into-it's a choice you make when feelings fade. Forget everything you've been told about how relationships should work. The biggest trap couples fall into is following someone else's blueprint instead of creating their own. When Khadeen and Devale met at a college banquet-she was the emcee, he was an honoree-there was no lightning bolt moment. Just curiosity. And boldness. When Devale didn't ask for her number, Khadeen wrote it in his program anyway. Their first real connection happened in his dorm room after a charity walk. Khadeen kicked off her shoes, devoured a turkey sandwich without worrying about looking cute, and they talked for hours about their dreams. Despite every signal pointing toward a typical college hookup, they just talked. She lay on his chest like they'd been best friends forever. That moment established something crucial: they were creating their own rules. After twenty years together, they've discovered that the real romance isn't in grand gestures but in showing up when it's hard, in prioritizing "we" when "me" feels more comfortable, and in rewriting the rules when the old ones stop working.
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