The Connected Child book cover

The Connected Child by Karyn B. Purvis & David R. Cross & Wendy Lyons Sunshine Summary

The Connected Child
Karyn B. Purvis & David R. Cross & Wendy Lyons Sunshine
3 (2 Reviews)
Psychology
Health
Education
Overview
Key Takeaways
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Overview of The Connected Child

Discover how to heal wounded hearts in "The Connected Child," the groundbreaking guide transforming adoption and foster care. Dr. Purvis's trauma-informed approach has revolutionized parenting practices worldwide, challenging traditional discipline methods while offering practical strategies that build genuine emotional connections where fear once ruled.

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Key takeaways

1

When Love Isn't Enough: Understanding the Wounded Child

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A mother watches her newly adopted eight-year-old son deliberately smash every new toy she's given him. A father can't understand why his daughter hoards crackers under her bed despite three meals a day. These aren't acts of defiance-they're desperate attempts at communication from children whose early worlds taught them that adults can't be trusted. What looks like willful destruction or bizarre behavior is actually a complex language of fear, and most parents don't have the decoder ring. Here's what makes parenting children from "hard places" so different: traditional discipline assumes kids started life in safety. It assumes babies were held when they cried, fed when hungry, and comforted when scared. But children who spent their earliest months in orphanages, abusive homes, or revolving foster placements learned something else entirely-that adults are unpredictable at best and dangerous at worst. Their brains literally wired differently in response to chaos and neglect. Telling these children to "just behave" is like asking someone to speak French when they only learned Mandarin. The foundation isn't there. The revolutionary insight here is that these children need something entirely different from conventional parenting. They need what they missed-the sensory bath of nurturing that typically happens in infancy, the hundreds of small moments that teach a baby the world is safe. And they need it now, whether they're five or fifteen.

2

Cracking the Code: What Misbehavior Really Means and Where It All Began

3

Building Safety You Can Feel, Not Just Hear

4

The Healing Power of Connection

5

Discipline That Builds Instead of Breaks

6

Your Own Wounds: The Mirror You Bring

7

The Long Road Home: Hope and Healing

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"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

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"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

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"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

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@Raaaaaachelw
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"Crazy how much I learned while walking the dog. BeFreed = small habits → big gains."

@Matt, YC alum
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108

"Reading used to feel like a chore. Now it’s just part of my lifestyle."

@Erin, Investment Banking Associate , NYC
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"Feels effortless compared to reading. I’ve finished 6 books this month already."

@djmikemoore
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"BeFreed turned my guilty doomscrolling into something that feels productive and inspiring."

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